When I ask Him what he wants me to do or why am I doing what I do when things get very stressful, he then reminds me the steps of I’ve taken in my life.

I was a nerd with very, very little self-esteem and very, very few friends. I grew up in what was called a Chicano neighborhood but I was such a nerd that I didn’t know it was a gang neighborhood. I was too much of a nerd for even gang-bangers to mess with me. I was bullied, but not by gang-bangers. One day I decided to stand up for myself with a gang-banger wannabe. That did catch the attention of a gang and was approached by the leader who for whatever reason told me not to tell anyone and they would leave me alone. Who was I going to tell? I had no friends! What I learned about that was that I didn’t need to be bullied anymore – and neither did anyone else. I started speaking up for other nerds and no one ever seemed to mess with me about it. I then started making friends. They were nerds and wonderful people.

In the mid-70s people with disabilities started attending our high school. Of course they were different so they were nerds. I got along well with nerds. In particular, there were many deaf students. I liked one so I started learning sign language and decided I may want to interpret for the deaf for a living and became pretty well-versed.

Throughout my college years I gained more confidence as I attempted more challenges. One thing I always wanted to do was try out to work as a character for Disneyland. On the 1st morning of tryouts I saw all kinds of people there in dancer’s outfits and stylish clothes. I almost left thinking I wasn’t good enough, after all, I’m not an actress or a dancer, and I was scared to death to be in front of anyone. A friend asked me something that I still think of when I’m afraid or think I’m not good enough and that was, “But what if you are good enough? Do you want to regret not knowing?” Well I learned an important lesson that day: those pretty people didn’t follow directions and didn’t make the cut. I prayed throughout the entire 3 days of tryouts and I found out that with God, I am good enough.

Back then the characters in the park were the same characters in the parade. I learned a lot about fitness and a few years later, I tried out for another group, I was hazed and made it through and eventually became a leader in a co-ed law enforcement fraternity.  I started learning how to speak in public and I also tried out for a leadership position at the college and, to my surprise, I was voted in by the student body.  Being physically fit was important in this fraternity as most members wanted to be law enforcement officers.  I learned a lot about fitness during this time. I also learned about volunteering as this was also important for the fraternity.

While my friends wanted to be in law enforcement, I wanted to be a lawyer, and I thought I would try out for the Army and maybe be a lawyer for them. Well, I ended up being a paralegal and when it was time to prepare for law school, I was pretty much tired of school.

One other group I joined after the Northridge earthquake was the Junior Chamber of Commerce. As I took on more and more leadership responsibilities, I started teaching others how to also become leaders. I found I really liked to teach and when the opportunity came, I became an instructor for the Non-commissioned Officer Corp. I learned even more about fitness in the military and became a Master Fitness Trainer. Needless to say, I also learned a lot about leadership as I advanced in rank.

In the late 90s I was mugged in a dark parking lot. I then suffered from post-traumatic stress (PTS). I wouldn’t go outside except to work and I started missing out on life. A friend from work, however, invited me several times to visit so one day I finally did. She lived in Norco and I was introduced to horses.

I started frequently visiting her horses and eventually got my own and started learning about horse behavior because I wanted to know if the horses liked doing what I was asking it to do or if I was forcing it to do things it didn’t want to do. I found it easy to work with horses and I enjoyed playing with them.

Now things started moving relatively quickly. My rent became too much for me to handle so my horse friend invited me to rent a room since I was over there all the time anyway. We then decided to buy some property in Riverside which was cheaper than renting. We then decided to start teaching other people how to ride so the horses could be a write off. We then learned about working with people with disabilities with the horses. This is when Queen of Hearts Therapeutic Riding Center, Inc. was born.

My former partner and I went through many struggles and we eventually parted ways. However, because of volunteers and the desires of our clients, I was able to keep the program going – barely. I still worked at law offices to pay the bills and I was still in the military and I then met the man of my dreams. Due to the real estate crest and Riverside’s 25 Year Plan of zoning out horse property, we accepted an offer on our property and we moved to Jurupa Valley.

At that time I was praying a lot about the direction of the ranch, the military, and my civilian job. I had two baby boys and I was feeling very torn over my family and my career. Soon after a short stint of active duty in the military, when I returned home, my civilian boss changed my job and schedule and tried to get me to quit. After fasting and praying for direction, I lost my civilian job on the last day of my fast. God answered my prayers. I was to stay full time at our small ranch.

Through all the highs and lows, why do I do what I do?

Because God allows me to see the pride that comes into an autists’ eyes when he accomplished what a so-called “normal” person does because he is normal and doesn’t want to be considered otherwise.

Because God allows me to see the calm come over a panicking parent because his autistic son became over-stimulated by a new activity and ran in the shed to hide and I told him his sons’ reactions are normal when the public schools have sent him home for lesser distractions.

Because God allows me to see children with Cerebral Palsy, whose teachers told their parents that they don’t work with their walking skills because they’ll never walk. I see them walk.

Because God allows me to see the gift he has given me in family. My family doesn’t see what I see and yet they support me anyway. They support me even when we can’t pay bills because sometimes our clients can’t pay for their sessions but they come anyway.

My family supports me even though they don’t see the horses when they hug those that felt unlovable as many of our clients need their horse time to help them keep their sanity while the world is going insane around them.

Our clients don’t feel any more special than you and I do. We are all normal in our own unique ways and God gave me eyes to see how my family sacrifices their patience and support while the horses and volunteers at Queen of Hearts continue help everyone they come in contact with feel special.

Why do I do this? Because our Heavenly Father has taught me to rely on Him when times are tough. Relying on God has brought me peace through lean times as He continues to bring us supporters and volunteers.

I thank our Heavenly Father for blessing all who have entered our gates and that God lets me see boys become kings and girls become queens as they are wrapped in His majesty when we love the least of these.